Happy Birthday! You don't expect an easy life and certainly don't count on others to make unusual sacrifices for you. In fact, you can't bear to feel in others' debt - or under anyone's thumb. You'd much rather build a life for yourself, pay your own dues, and prove your own worth than cling to another's coattails. No matter how artistic or idealistic you are, you're a tough-minded pragmatist at heart. You have no interest in building castles in the air - unless, of course you've got loads of free time and a fat saving account. You need to build a dependable, secure life for yourself. Hard work doesn't intimidate or bother you. You'd rather work hard and take care of yourself than eat bonbons on satin sheets and feel indebted to someone else. You combine freedom-thirsty Sagittarius traits with practical Capricorn ones. You know that almost every good deed creates expectations and obligations, so you'd just as soon take care of yourself. Although many of you are well educated, your most profound education generally comes from real life experience, either before or after formal training. Famous for your radiant smile and easy-going nature, there's a lot more going on in your psyche than you admit. You never stop learning, and never outgrow a desire to inspire. Consequently, you may choose a teaching or healing profession. Because your head is frequently in the clouds, pondering life's bigger questions, others may characterize you as a space cadet. Nothing could be further from the truth. No matter how beautiful and talented your body, your mind will always be your finest instrument. Continue dreaming, and seriously think about writing your memoirs and spending substantial time abroad. Travel is nutrition for your soul. Like many people with Sagittarius influences, you benefit from vigorous walking, competitive running, and hiking. You were born on the cusp of Sagittarius and Capricorn, giving you unique qualities of both signs. Your desire to entertain, please, and participate glows brighter than the Hope Diamond. Many of you are not only ambitious, but also inventive. You like to combine a passionate desire to help others with strong team spirit. You learned long ago that two or more people working cooperatively can get a lot more accomplished in less time than one. Still, there's a very private side to your personality that occasionally likes to drop out of sight and savor your separateness. You need to honor all sides of your personality. You won't be happy living a perpetually isolated existence; nor will you feel fulfilled without ample time to yourself. Many of you are late bloomers. Your focus, talent and ambition may take a while before aligning perfectly together. But once this happens, you're off and running. As long as you're physically active and tightly wound, you tend to be slender, angular and energetic. If you allow others' priorities and demands to take over your life and pull you off track, you may become less active, less confident, and less happy. You understand depression because you've seen it up close. You respect those who have tunneled their way through hard times and valiantly struggled back to the top. Many of you will do exactly that. There are numerous second acts in your career and private life, making it foolish to underestimate your ability to evolve, transform, and successfully survive. For most of you, your happiest years may come during the second half of your life, which, of course, often coincides with a time of enhanced self-awareness and acceptance. You'll have several chapters of searching and climbing toward specific goals, followed by extended periods of assisting others, and ending in protracted periods of self-evaluation and personal reinvention. To examine your life is to witness a relentless search for meaning. Once you recognize the incipient lesson in each hardship, you immediately become free. At that moment, there's nothing left to scare or harm you. Your gift for learning from past mistakes makes you an inspirational speaker, teacher, sage, and friend.

i saw a movie tonight that reminded me of how it was like growing up in my parents home.

the whole idea of privacy was non-existent. we lived in a railroad apartment. curtains defined one room from another. a room either began with a curtain or ended with a curtain, or both. the ironic part was that we technically had three entry ways into our home, but two of the doors didn't work. so, imagine this: "i'm coming in!" announced many, many times before entering my brother's room, a thruway into mine. i suppose that announcement was some way showing respect for his "privacy", or what little he felt he had. what little we all felt we needed to hold onto. and, if he felt exasperated with me for some reason, i dared not go into my room. i had to save up for a real emergency and made sure that i didn't waste an entry (i.e. i better have had more than one reason to get into my room).

i sometimes think about my childhood and the memories are so blurry. is it that i don't want to remember how stifling life was back then? yet i only need a slight reminder to remember so many peculiar ways of living that were my norms. funny, to this day i really appreciate light switches. why? we never had them. all the lights in our rooms were sparked by drawstrings. a string in the middle of the room. fumbling in the night for that glowing end piece bobbing in the middle of the room. helping pass the time away by swinging that string in the middle of the room.

our first blizzard this season:

white stuff

and my boots are on backorder until jan 2004 -- what gives?